Summer is almost over, but summer 2013 is boiling through the temperatures this year. With all of this heatwave that we desperately despise, why not just think of positive of hot weather? Well, it’s the time where women start wearing less. This month, I’ll be making my own Top 10’s of hottest women for each of the categories on the menu bar that I review. Now, as a cartoon fan I will admit that there were more than plenty of cartoon female characters that helped me get through my manhood when I was growing up. It’s not just the design of the character, but also how seductive the voice-actress pulled off these roles that makes them stick out than just drawings in a moving frame. This is really awkward for me to make a list of animated women that I find the most attractive, but this is a “list series” for all the categories in my bar menu so so what rubs me the right way.
Number 10. – Helen Parr – The Incredibles
Interesting to see a studio like Pixar, who’s been well- received well to the general public for all ages somehow ended up making a character this hot. A soccer-mom who had a super-heroine past ended up as being some of the most flexible of female characters. Praise Bradd Byrd for giving us something this creative otherwise the Incredibles would be nothing special for me other than just another Superhero movie. She has interesting assets like having the power to stretch like Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four and she comes up with creative ways to stop her enemies with stretching her body to all kinds of forms. Heck, Mr. Incredible couldn’t help himself by going up the butt with her. Seriously, that scene where she was entering the enemy base and encountered the mirror just to check herself out was a breathtaking moment for us guys. Though i liked Elastigirl’s look in the earlier part of the film than she does ending up in Mr. Incredible’s marriage as a secure mother, but still we all wish she could turn around the camera so us guys can get a nice shot from her.
- Character’s hottest moment – Checking herself out on front of a mirror
Number 9. – Rogue – X-Men
For a tragic beautiful woman who never wanted to be a mutant and she can even come close to killing anyone once she touches them, who wouldn’t want to help her out? She’s a woman worth dying for because she needs the help to make her life the way she always wanted. I mean, when she had her first kiss she put her then-boyfriend in a coma. Throughout her miserable life she never can have the opportunity to touch another person without putting then close to death. This shows how really out of our league she really is which even makes her even the more hotter. Second of all, she has a very seductive southern accent that pulls any man in. There’s always something special about cowgirls that makes then so interesting and yet so desirable to meet her. It’s really tragic to see that she couldn’t experience all the wonders of romance with the power she possesses and yet many of us can’t let her go because she is in need for some loving. Don’t let a woman who’s stronger than many men in the world intimidate you because that makes her better than the typical Victoria secret model!
- Character’s hottest moment – Her first kiss before she knew that she was a mutant
Number 8. – Turanga Leela – Futurama
I should be the few who don’t want Leela with two eyes because it fits her as a character. Just like Rogue, Leela just couldn’t have the love life that she wants because a lot of people are intimidated by her cyclops eye (and she’s also very picky). Seriously, what’s not to like about her? She’s an expert martial artist, pilot of a delivery ship, and fights against pigs who want to woo her. It’s no wonder why Philip J. Fry tries (since the beginning of Futurama) so hard to get her love and affection. Even Zapp Brannigan can’t help himself whenever he encounters her. She is indeed some of the most feminine, responsible, and flexible animated women in this list. Heck, she’s been in so many adventures where they explicit her sexuality by making her wear exotic outfits, been naked multiple times, and slept with many men. I still don’t understand why people have a fetish for Marge Simpson (another Matt Groening creation) when Leela has all the features (except the eye) that even man strives to win for. Sure she can be a stubborn one, but even roses has their thorns so we all have to live with it. Around when Futurama returned to television, she finally opened her heart to Fry and they both build a strong, yet slow, relationship together. You can actually feel the love and compassion they both have for each other which even adds credibility for the sexiness of Leela. I remember when she lost Fry in that Time-Forward Machine episode that she left a love note for him in the future. That’s impressive to see a woman that compassionate towards the one she loves and we all wish to have a woman like that in our lives. Other than the looks, there is nothing more that makes a woman attractive than her love.
- Character’s hottest moment – “Dial L for Leela”… best ending ever!
Number 7. – Lana Kane – Archer
I really want to put Lana higher on the list, really I do, but for the fact that she can be such a cold hearted bitch at times makes it a nightmare to even try to get in a relationship with a woman like her. Is there ever an episode where she never nagged at Archer or any man in general? But as I watched many episodes of Archer later, under the surface of that hateful stubbornness of her’s, she can probably be the girl of your dreams. This sugar mamma has been with so many men that she’s tired to be not be appreciated enough. Even after the break-up, Archer still wants to be with her so badly. So many missions she’s been in, Lana has been involved with so many man’s fantasies that we wish it would of been real. I mean, she has the most feminine figure I’ve ever seen from a cartoon character that it’s so hard to take your eyes off of her. In a lot of ways, she’s like Leela; a master spy, a very feminine personality, and unbelievably strong at will. A night with her is like a night with a goddess; only a few men in the world could even open her heart. But because she’s so cold and negative, she really isn’t worth fighting for.
- Character’s hottest moment – Firing a AK-47 in her undergarments
Number 6. – Sango – Inuyasha
There’s something about tragic women that really appeals me personally. It looks like after all the harshness they’ve been through, all they need is some love from a man that deserves her. Sango is just that anime girl that is just so interesting and yet worth dying for. I mean, she’s a demon slayer who just lost her entire family and only has her brother left who’s working for the enemy. It’s really tragic to see such a beautiful woman to face such triumph and yet I still route for her. She’s actually my favorite character in Inuyasha. I mean she wields a giant boomerang that’s bigger than her and she as a little fox-like creature that can transform into a sabertooth tiger. How much more interesting can you ask for a girl like her? Sango is just that perfect woman that you would want to meet because she’s very feminine, flexible, responsible, motherly/sisterly, and she’s always protective, especially her now-husband Miroku. I always love the fact that whenever Miroku is flirting with another woman, Sango gets jealous and gets temperamental. And when he woos her (up the ass) she slaps him as hard a possible. I can imagine Miroku thinking to himself that it was worth it. I can really see the relationship being there as it build up into marriage. Sango just has the “it” factor when it comes to looking for the perfect woman and it’s also worth being picked by the thorns with a rose like her. Sometimes I really wish that she was the main character instead of Kagome who never takes that leap of fate with Inuyasha. For the fact that she started as a love-companion into a dream wife is what makes Sango so special for me!
- Character’s hottest moment – All the times Miroku touched Sago’s butt
Number 5. – Yoko Littner – Gurren Lagann
How can a woman be so motherly, so protective, and so confident end up to look like a hooker in a wasteland? Who cares, it’s animated! Yoko is just a very fun character to be around with as she loves to fire her sniper rifle like a pro and go off in the wildest adventures of a life-time; she is all the more interesting of the bunch. She has been voted as the hottest anime chick of all time and judging by the way that she dresses it’s impossible to ask why. Yoko is really fun to be around with because she’s always in a playful argument and tries her best to dominate. This gets an A+ for me when I want to communicate with a woman like her. Plus, seeing her into action is some of the most exciting parts of Gurren Lagann. Heck, sometimes her character sticks out so interesting that you can take your eye off of her boobs and pay attention to what she’s saying or doing. I really love that rebellious-chick attitude whenever she’s up and ready to fight and yet she’s so motherly that she’s worth keeping. Towards the end of the series after Simon parted ways, she ended up being a teacher of a school. It’s really interesting to see such a chick like her could be such a mother material when she does her very best to protect the children that she teaches. Yoko’s a brilliant character (when you look-over her sexual appeal) and she bring a breath of fresh air after so many generic anime girls that has came out in the anime department.
- Character’s hottest moment – watch the episode “Sit in the Hot Tub ‘Till You’re Sick”
Number 4. – Nancy Hicks Gribble – King of the Hill
I always see Nancy as some of the most underrated, hot animated characters ever. I mean, King of the Hill is the most human animated show ever and people always favor Luanne. I would choose Nancy over that dumb air-head any day. I mean, Nancy is a great example that just because you’re married doesn’t mean we lost our chances with her. After being married to Dale for over a decade, she lost the intimacy with him and had a love affair with John Redcorn for 10 years. They’ve been in so many affairs together that it became an inside joke. For a beauty that can keep a secret for that long is what makes her so fun to watch. I mean, for someone who’s over her 40’s, she looks absolutely spectacular! Hell, even Dale kept mentioning her “can” whenever she walks away. What I love most about Nancy is that she has the most seductive southern accent I’ve ever herd from a woman. You thought Rogue was hot for having a southern accent, well you haven’t seen nothing yet till you see Nancy. I always feel more in love each time I hear her call every one “Shug.” Hell, even Hank Hill had a dirty dream with Nancy when they were both naked. She really is the hot wife next door that we can’t help but to fall in love with a woman like that. I still wonder how did Dale marry Nancy since they don’t have much in common.
- Character’s hottest moment – Hank’s naked dream with Nancy
Number 3. – Poison Ivy – Batman: The Animated Series
It’s about time to actually put a villainess in the list and to be honest I think that Pamela Isley (Poison Ivy) is the most interesting woman in the Batman series. You heard me right, I think she’s more fascinating than Catwoman, Talia al Ghul, and even Harley Quinn. How can nobody see that a woman who’s obsessed with plants can go far to protecting mother nature by becoming an ecoterrorist. Not only that, she knows that she’s sexy; almost everything she does she’s confident in every movement that she makes, the lovely voice coming from her every breath, and even the seductive nature with such a lifestyle with plants. I love Poison Ivy’s motivation when becoming Batman’s enemy, but it also makes us wish that we were all her plants in her garden just to get enough love from her. Poison Ivy is just that gorgeous that being kissed (her poisoning move) by her is our number 1 choice of death for us guys. Heck, even the female animators who worked on Batman: The Animated Series are fascinated with Poison Ivy’s design as the plant-goddess that she is. She is that fiery redhead that every man would like to take that girl out to dinner and it’s possible to have a healthy relationship with someone like Ivy if you if you love plants as much as she does. You know there was an episode of Batman: The Animated Series where she actually shows that she’s mother material when she married a man with two daughters which was a really emotional episode that sticks Ivy out as a real female character.
I would really love to put her as my number 1 hottest animated woman, but unfortunately she never had her moment to stick out as a great character when they made changes with her in Season 4 and the other Batman cartoons degraded her character that it’s shameful. It’s really hard for me to get attached to a female character that has, now, a weak motivation towards saving plant but instead just uses them to just destroy Batman. Other than that, Poison Ivy in the 90’s animated series will always be the best Ivy seen on television. I would die for a woman that would look just like Poison Ivy from the animated series because, to be perfectly honest with you all, she was my first crush ever. I mean, watching Batman: The Animated Series as a kid was frightening, but after seeing Poison Ivy for the first time, I have a reason why to watch the show. It’s really fun to have her as a villainess because it makes capturing her (as the good guy) a lot more fun than saving the damsel in distress. If I were Batman, I would do this for eternity with her instead of the Joker. *wink!*
- Character’s hottest moment: Watch “Pretty Poison” it’s my favorite episode
Number 2. – Esmeralda – Hunchback from Notre Dame
What’s up with people picking Jasmine, Belle, Ariel, and Pocahontas as being the hottest woman ever seen in a Disney film? Did they forgot how much they sexualized Esmeralda at the point where The Hunchback from Notre Dame should not be rated G. Esmeralda is so gorgeous that she’s a Goddess, plain and simple. We all thought Gypsies were this stereotype where they were creepy, old fortune tellers that only reads a crystal ball & read fortunes for a living, but Esmeralda breaks that stereotype and shows what’s it like to be involved with a wild Gypsy girl like her. I mean she’s knows how to dance, knows how get away from anyone who chases her, and she’s bare-none the most flexible animated woman I’ve ever seen! I mean, how can you not fall in love with an animated character like her? She’s dark skinned, has long fluffy hair, walks in public bear-foot, she has a very womanly figure and she has eyes that are green as Poison Ivy’s garden. That scene where she was dancing on front of Frollo and the crowd, she pulled everyone in her seduction. Even better, she has a sort of a thing for ugly people as they were the ones who actually have a bigger heart; that shows how compassionate she really is. This is actually the first and only time where a Disney film has a love triangle with Quasimodo, Phoebus, and Frollo (the villain). Hell, she was so gorgeous that even Frollo sang a very epic and passionate song about his struggle of being pure against his lust for her. That’s really daring for Disney. Hell, not even Esmeralda cos-players could even match up to the beauty of her. Esmeralda really is my dream girl only to have me wishing that she was real. If only that were the case…
- Character’s hottest moment – Esmeralda dancing on front of the live audience
Number 1. – Eris – Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas
Everybody forgot about Dreamwork’s 2D animated movies but it’s worth re-watching because it will surprise you on how seductive their women are. It was really hard to me to choose either Eris from Sinbad or Chel from El Dorado. In the end, I have to go with the bad girl because she was just the most seductive in the animation department. I mean look at every move that she makes! It almost looks like every atmosphere that she’s in is making her float; like the laws of physics lost control over her. Even the expressions on her face makes you want to pay attention to her body language as it really does make you loose your breath. Also, she just has that very seducing charisma that just pulls you in, like hypnotism. Everything about this goddess is just so much fun to watch. I mean we haven’t seen an animated female character this evil since Maleficent. She’s so conniving, manipulative, destructive, and she plots a lot of evil schemes… and yet that’s what makes her so damn attractive! I always dreamed of having an evil girlfriend since I was a kid and when I saw Sinbad for the first time in theaters, I was in love. She is the very definition of that bad-girl that I so would want to have and if there was a goddess that really looked like her, I would of worshiped her till kingdom come! That’s how gorgeous she really is! Seriously, she chooses to say violent words and somehow, someway, she makes it so seductive!
Seriously, even though she’s intimidating, she makes it so exciting to be with her. Esmerelda maybe my dream girl, but Eris is my dream goddess. She actually makes evil convincing and fun to do! All the way she’s charismatic, very womanly, and is seductive with everything she does. How can you not put her as number 1?!
- Character’s hottest moment – Eris in a bubble bath…