Wrestlemania 2 Review

Wrestlemania was such as successful event that many like to come back and watch it again and again just to remember what started the Rock n’ Wrestling Connection and what came to be. Wrestlemania was was promised to be twice as bigger, twice as chaotic, and twice the excitement. The problem was that this Wrestlemania was a bit too chaotic and it was no doubt all over the place, literally! This is the only sporting even that comes to mind that’s being taking place from one side of the country all the way to the other. It happened in New York, Chicago, & Los Angelas. Just because you can do something doesn’t already mean that you should. It’s funny to see StarCade 2 where Dusty Rhodes started doing 2 venues in one event and then Vince wanted to top that and make it three and establish his superiority. It got more audience seats filled up with three arenas making more money than ever before, but something tells me that they’ve thrown in too much just enough to create a lot of problems. Like what many of the smartest people say, it’s better to try and fail instead of to fail to try.  All throughout the show, you had awkward silences, technical difficulties, and so many more that didn’t feel at all a smooth production. Wrestlemania 2 was full of them. What’s even more of a bad decision was that this ‘Mania was held on a Monday instead of a weekend where people had the time to watch those long hours of the event.  And most importantly, it left me in question, what did the attendees of one of the arenas do when all of their matches are done in one arena? Did they just sat there and watched the screen of the other places in Wrestlemania 2’s being held at until they went live?

NEW YORK CITY

Paul Orndorff vs. The Magnificent Muraco (with Mr. Fuji) – What a way to have a bad start of the show to have a main eventer of the first Wrestlemania “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff to just be the opening match of the event and that’s a stoop low on his career and even worse for this match. The match was fun as they go over the basic brawls until the finish left in a double countout. This must have damaged Orndorff’s career more-so than placing him in the opening card.
Match score: 2/5

Randy Savage (c) (with Miss Elizabeth) vs. George “The Animal” Steele – Though these two squaring off in Wrestlemania 2 has been completely overshadowed by their following Wrestlemania event, it was a fun match were a freak like Steele takes on Randy as he wants his revenge for scaring Miss Elizabeth. And for that he got. Though the Macho Man was more athletic than the sloppy Steele’s moves, it was great to have Savage’s first wrestlemania to win the Intercontinental Championship. This match is basically just a cartoon. Savage again goes to the floor, and Steele chases. Steele stops to offer his hand to Liz, which allows Savage to come off the top rope with a double axe-handle. Bodyslam sets up the flying elbow, which connects, but Steele kicks out at two. Steele comes right back and fires Savage into the corner. While he’s doing the pounding though Savage is able to scoop the legs and with his feet on the ropes get the pin at 7:08. Its like Savage knew he wasn’t capable of carrying Steele to anything good so he didn’t even try and went the cheap stalling heat route instead.
Match score 2/5

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells – Jake tries to attack early, but Wells gets the better of the exchange delivering a backdrop. Jake comes right back firing Wells to the floor. Jake leapfrogs a backdrop attempt, but gets a flying shoulderblock. Headbutt sends Jake to the mat, and a pair of Irish whips follows that to the corner. Flying head scissors is followed by a slam from Wells. Wells continues the assault with a knee lift, and then hits a powerslam off the ropes for two. Jake goes to the eyes, and then bails to the floor to buy time. Wells follows, and catches a knee lift back inside. DDT from there makes the finish academic at 3:04. Afterwards Wells gets up close and personal with the still unnamed Damien. He even foams at the mouth for good measure.
Match score 2/5

Mr. T (with Joe Frazier and The Haiti Kid) vs. Roddy Piper (with Bob Orton and Lou Duva) – In my last Wreslemania review I said that not having Mr. T pinning Rowdy Roddy Piper left unfinished business and Wrestlemania 2 was supposed to be the finale between the two. Unfortunately it wasn’t as good. Instead of having a traditional wrestling match, we had to endure the fakeness of a boxing match and having a boxing match in a professional wrestling even is not the way to go! Of course they have to place this as a boxing match because Mr. T was in Rocky 3 as Clubber Lang, but there were so many punches that looks like it’s not even hitting either one of them. To make this match interesting they had to make it more chaotic than your ordinary boxing match because… it’s wrestling.

First Round
Nothing much going in round one. They trade blows, get tied up in the corner. Piper won’t break clean. Mr T does the peek-a-boo on the ropes while Piper fires off several blows. Just lots of clutching and grabbing going on, nothing much resembling boxing for the entire round. It mercifully ends after 3 minutes that felt like 30.

Second Round
Piper comes out covered in Vaseline, so the ref makes Duva clean him off. Piper finally comes out with a huge flurry, but T is able to come back spinning him into the corner. Piper catches T in the corner and gets the better of an exchange, and finally after a flurry of blows T goes down. Piper wont go to his corner and even delivers a kick before heading back. T gets to his feet at eight with 20 seconds left in the round. T goes down at the end of the round, and Piper delivers a rabbit punch as the ref sends the seconds out. He’s up at four though to end the round.

Third Round
In between rounds Bob Orton decides to throw a bucket of water on T. How exactly is reviving him considered heelish? Round starts with an Ali shuffle from Piper. T comes out firing and gets Piper stuck in the corner and after a flurry of blows puts him down. Piper’s up at eight and the fight resumes with about a minute and a half left. T pushes Piper into the corner and when Piper comes back out he delivers a huge blow, which sends Piper all the way to the floor. He’s back in at seven and up at nine so the fight resumes with about 25 seconds remaining. More clutching and grabbing until the round ends.

Fourth Round
Piper chucks a stool in T’s direction as we start round four. Both guys are arm weary and just trade punches in the center. This fight looks so much different from an actual boxing match it completely exposes the business even in a non-wrestling match. They continue to go toe to toe until the referee gets thrown to the ground. Piper gets a bodyslam from there, which draws the DQ. The whole thing lasts 13:21 from start to finish. Big pull apart brawl afterward. Absolute crap that took way too long and ended in a non-finish.

Even Rowdy Roddy Piper in his interview had stated that it was a terrible match where punches are missed and moves weren’t’ even believable, even though he did everything he could to make this work. I’ll give Mr. T credit, he’s a main event-material celebrity that was able to appear in two consecutive Wrestlemanias and that’s effort.
Match Score: 1/5

CHICAGO

The Fabulous Moolah  vs. Velvet McIntyre – It’s sad to see that Wendi Richter and Cyndi Lauper was off of the Wrestlemania 2 card just have this colossal under-2 minute filth. The finish of this match was awful where Velvet dove from the top rope and landed chest first (ouch! Not good for a woman) and almost had a wardrobe malfunction. Even despite the fact that Velvet had her foot on the ropes the referee gave the three count to Fabulous Moolah. God! Moolah is such an overrated wrestler and I have no idea why she’s regarded as one of the best female wrestlers at all, which she clearly is not!
Match Score: 1/5

Corporal Kirchner defeated Nikolai Volkoff (with Freddie Blassie) – A flag match? Really? his is not capture the flag rules flag match, but rather just simply that the winner gets to wave their flag when it’s over. As if they wouldn’t already? Volkoff attacks early with a spinning kick, and fires Kirschner to the floor. Nikolai follows and rams Kirschner into the post. Some biting, and another trip to the post for follows that to Kirschner. Back inside and they trade blows wit h the referee going down in the melee. Blassie tosses the cane into Volkoff but Kirschner intercepts it and blasts Volkoff to pick up the win at 1:36. It should be noted that Kirschner bladed at some point. In a 96 second match, he decided he needed to blade. All aboard the DUD parade tonight.
Match Score 1/5

20 Man Battle Royal – After so many mediocre matches on the card we finally have (over an hour of the show) a good match. The participants in this 20 Man Battle Royal were Jimbo Covert (Chicago Bears), Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin (Dallas Cowboys), “Golden Boy” Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes (Pittsburgh Steelers), B. Brian Blair, “Jumpin” Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic (Atlanta Falcons), Bret “Hitman” Hart, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, Russ Francis (San Francisco 49ers), Bruno Sammartino, William “The Refrigerator” Perry (Chicago Bears), and Andre The Giant. I won’t go in detail on how this Battle Royal went because what’s the point of just writing over each elimination, but the best decision was to leave a big name like Andre to face off the Hart Foundation having Bret Hart the second man standing to show that he has potential to be the face of the company, and boy he delivered. It was really weird to have NFL football players to go toe to toe with WWF wrestlers and how can you even compete with someone like Andre? Andre left victorious leaving us to wait for his big moment at Wrestlemania 3.
Match Score: 3/5

The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and The Dynamite Kid) (with Ozzy Osbourne and Lou Albano) vs. The Dream Team (Greg “The Hammer” Valentine and Brutus Beefcake) (c) (with Johnny Valiant) – I was surprised that the 20 Man Battle Royal wasn’t the main event for the Chicago as the the whole reason why the Chicago Bears were there because they won the year’s super bowl. Instead we had a really fantastic tag team match with the Bulldogs vs The Dream Team. And was it a damn fine Tag Team match, probably the best of the whole event, sadly. remendous match that breaks the streak of suck that had been this show thus far. One of the things that I really liked about this match was it seemed to break from the traditional tag team formula. There was no extended face in peril sequence nor was there a hot tag at any point. Easily the match of the night.
Match Score 4/5

LAS ANGELAS

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez – Rickey showed his potential winning last Wrestlemania and he displayed a much better match here. He was showing more of that martial arts style by doing karate chops, kicks to the heads, you name it. It was refreshing to see he display a different kind of match towards this event while Hercules backed fired with power moves and slams just to try to keep “The Dragon” down. A splash attempt comes up empty as Steamboat gets his knees up. Steamboat then goes to the top and delivers a flying cross body press to get the pin for the win. Good little match as Steamboat could really do no wrong at this point in his career.
Match Score: 4/5

Adrian Adonis (with Jimmy Hart) vs. Uncle Elmer –  Adonis is a big fat possibly gay guy while Elmer is a big fat hillbilly if you’re scoring at home. Stereotypes are fun aren’t they, Vince? Elmer attacks at the bell and whips Adonis into the ropes, and then delivers a punch that causes he himself to fall down. Adonis oversells everything coming back in taking a punch and falling back to the floor. Elmer fires Adonis back in with a slingshot, and then gives him a belly butt that ties Adonis in the ropes. After getting untied from the ropes he delivers a few blows, and goes for a whip to the corner, which gets reversed. Avalanche connects for Elmer, but a legdrop misses. Adonis goes to the top rope and delivers what could be called a headbutt if I’m being generous to end this abortion. We’re back to the shitty match portion of the program.
Match Score: 1/5

Terry Funk and Hoss Funk (with Jimmy Hart) vs. Junkyard Dog and Tito Santana – It’s interesting to see the Funks making this far in the card already facing legendary babyfaces like JYD and Santana. This is more like it. Tito flying about all over the place, JYD smashing Funks through tables, the funks taking some superb bumps. This one is great fun. I love watching Terry Funk, because you know the guy’s going to do some crazy shit to his body, in this case a big back drop on to the cement floor. This match is fast paced, the styles compliment each other quite well and this is the most entertained I’ve ever been by the JYD. All in all, top stuff.
Match Score: 4/5

Hulk Hogan (c) vs. King Kong Bundy (with Bobby Heenan) – This is where it all comes down to, a champion that won the first Wrestlemania main event and headlining again with another Wrestlemania against a challenger who broke wrestling 29 seconds, not 9 seconds, in last year’s Wrestlemania. WWF did a great job establishing Bundy’s monstrosity, but this match couldn’t pay off, even though everyone wanted to see this cage match. I love the old-school blue cage back, but this match doesn’t justify why we love it. Instead it was just a slobber knocker if you will. All it was was a set of punches, slaps, and ranging heads on the cage. Plus there were so many attempts to get out to the cage to win, but was dragged back into the ring. It wasn’t as electrifying as the last wrestlemania event, intend they were taking too much time pacing each other loosing my interest. There were too over-sells and a bunch of no-sells that continues to loose some believability. At the end, you just wanted Hulk Hogan to get out of the cage and win the match. Hogan sent the people happy and let with Hulkamania happy.
Match score: 3/5

I can see the ambition to see Vince trying one-up Dusty Rhodes by making his Wrestlemania event bigger than StarCade, but just because one event does it doesn’t mean you should double it. There were too many technical problems because of the jumping on three different stadiums and it got the production team mixed up with sound recording, video capture, and even trying to up hold all the stadiums that already had their four “mania matches into watching it on the big screen. It was not a good idea to keep people watching their matches live and then watch the others in the screen. Also, the commentary was awful. The biggest mistake was to have Susan St. James on commentary with Vince in New York City recording just kept hearing hersaying “Uh-oh” in the commentary. You could do a drinking game of every time she said “Uh-oh” and hope someone doesn’t come out sober. The matches were inconsistent where you have a load of bad matches and a few good ones. Not every match on an event should be 5/5 (except if you’re Great American Bash ’89, Dream Slam ’93, and two other Wrestlemanias). If it wasn’t for the those matches that scored a 4/5, it would have been one of the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. But instead, it’s just the second worst because of all the brain dead ideas that kept ruining it’s own production. But for what we have, it could have been a lot worse. It’s just disappointing that one of the most important shows followed up on a disappointment.

The Top Lister’s Score for Wrestlemania 2:

                    1/5

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